My deplorable Walmart food

Yup, I buy my groceries at Walmart. It’s cheaper than anywhere else, or at least cheaper than any place where the employees speak English. The shopping experience sucks at the ghetto Walmarts. The Walmarts in nice neighborhoods are perfectly fine. The Walmart in the nice neighborhood near my work is cheaper than the ghetto Walmart near my condo. Weird. Maybe they don’t have to hire so much security and they pass on the savings.

Buying food at Walmart is supposed to be 15% less expensive than buying at other grocery chains. This seems pretty true on average, judging by my grocery tabs. Fry’s/Kroger is closer in price, while the hipster Safeway near my downtown condo is stupidly overpriced. I don’t want to expend the time, mental energy and gas looking for the best price on everything on my list, so I shop at Walmart and call it good. Last month I spent about $220 on groceries.

I shop on the perimeter of the store. That’s where the fresh food is: produce, meat, eggs, dairy. I buy very little from the aisles, because that’s where they keep all the pre-made, prepackaged, processed food. I buy basic items with one or two ingredients on the label (if there is one) and make my own meals.

Yeah, yeah, I know. I should be eating locally-sourced organic produce, grass-fed beef, free-range chicken and eggs, and wild-caught never-frozen fish. I’d love to. But that stuff costs a small fortune. Plus I’d have to shop at the pop-up farmer’s market with a bunch of mannish granola women and testosterone-depleted hipsters. No thanks.

I have no desire to eat “food” from a multi-colored box that lists 30 ingredients I can’t pronounce. I just buy basic ingredients and cook for myself.

I am a deplorable consumer.

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